I joined the military for a multitude of reasons, to build a solid foundation, to get an education, to travel the world travel. But what sticks out in my mind the most was wanting to serve my country and to sacrifice some of my personal luxuries to give back to this country that gave me everything I could have asked for. I felt it was my duty as a young American.
Question: How would you have described yourself the day before you went to war?
I joined the Air Force two months out of High School in 2001. I had no idea that the tides of war would change so quickly and without warning. I was only four weeks into my technical training when 9/11 occurred, and that event shaped the rest of my military career. I didn’t deploy to Afghanistan during Operation Enduring Freedom, but supported combat operations from a small island off the coast of India. It was an extremely grueling couple years due to the Ops tempo within the Air Force, and we routinely worked 12-14 hour days. On December 18th, 2004 I was notified by my commanding officer that I would be leaving for Iraq in 3 weeks and that I needed to start prepping myself for deployment. I was informed that I would be deploying to a base that was also known as mortar-itaville. My time had come. It was my turn to fill my C bags and leave my life behind. I didn’t have the heart to tell my mother over the phone and asked to take leave before I left for Iraq to see my mother and family. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought this could be the last time I saw them, and that thought ate me up inside. I returned from a tearful trip home with every prayer bead and guardian angel my family and friends could find. I promised them that I would keep my head down and return home. The day I left for Iraq, the weather was gloomy and rainy; eerily reflecting how I felt. My last thought before I boarded the plane was, “please let me come back."
Question: What about you has changed the most since that day?
Since that day I have thought a lot about my life, the lives of others and how we all indirectly affect one another. I have questioned why I joined the military in the first place and asked myself if there was anything I could have done to not go to war. After coming back, I now think about how I can make a positive change for those returning from the war who were less fortunate. I think about the failing VA system and a public that has been spoon fed so many mistruths about the war. Being in war has changed everything for me, the way I handle relationships, how I see the world, what I eat. War has made me question reality, it has made me question life. Most of all it has made me question the faith I had in America.
Question: Now that you have returned, what does peace mean to you?
I look inside myself and search for peace. I search daily and I hope one day that my search can bring me self-awareness and peace. But for now I struggle with my hardships. These hardships are insignificant when compared to the hardships Iraqi civilians endure every day, with bombings, kidnappings and government corruption. I wish that we as a global community could come together and share peace with our Iraqi brothers and sisters. We could bring back laughter and learning. We could observe, think and philosophize on the streets without fear. We could share peace harmoniously, without inequality, injustice or war.